Isn't It Just A Game?

The 15- and 16-year-old boys on the Gloucester High School junior varsity baseball team filed off the bus single file toting their baseball mitts, bats and bags with their heads down. They hardly said a word to each other. Julie and I were sitting in the van waiting to pick up Ethan watching them walk to the Gloucester High School locker room. "Look at them," I said quietly. "You would think they lost." The JV Dukes had traveled to Newport News to face Woodside's team and prevailed 6-2. It wasn't necessarily a pretty win. Mistakes were made but Gloucester did plenty of things right as well, obviously. You would never know it from the coach, however. After the game I was chatting behind the dugout with a couple of other fathers after the game when the coach walked nearby. "I hope they get some TLC from you all," he said. "Because they're not getting it from me."

Ethan and the rest of the team played a solid game overall. Good pitching, some timely hitting, some plays were made when it counted. The kids came through. Ethan batted leadoff and went 1 for 2 with a double and RBI. But he also reached base on an error, drew two walks and stole three bases, though he did get thrown out once on what I would say was a disputed call at second base. In the field he played third base and fielded two grounders, throwing guys out at first base both times. He also had one error when he threw a ball into centerfield and another inexplicable play when he fielded the ball hit to him and stepped on third base -- except it wasn't a force out. He knew right away he had blown it. No one needed to tell him that because he's hard enough on himself. So how did his coach handle it? Here's what he said to Ethan afterwards: "Ethan, you're a genius in the classroom, but an idiot on the field. You'll never play an inning of varsity baseball doing that." He had plenty more to say to him, but that was the lowlight.

The coach ripped into everyone he could. One kid walked away from the field in tears. Ethan took it well; a lot better than I'm taking it. I talked to Ethan on the walk to the bus after the game and told him he played well. "It wasn't good enough," Ethan said. I told him he got on base all four times. "It wasn't good enough," Ethan said. "You made a couple plays at third. Had a real nice tag on that kid trying to steal," I said. "It wasn't good enough," Ethan said. We talked about what the coach said and I said to pay no attention to him. If the coach wants to give him pointers on fundamentals and actually be a coach, that's one thing. If the coach wants to be a raving, abusive idiot, just block that stuff out of your head. We got near the bus and our paths diverged. I told him he played well. Ethan shook his head: "Imagine if we had lost."

I don't understand this style of "coaching." I get that there are times when you need to crack down on the kids and get their attention or point out the mistakes they made and get them to understand how to make the play correctly. It's one thing if the kids aren't playing hard, or as some say, "disrespecting" the game. That's not the case here with these kids, it looks to me. They play hard. They're not perfect. Excuse me, but baseball is a game where it's considered a success if you get a hit every three or four times at bat. You can get your message across without getting personal. Without demeaning them. Without calling them idiots. A good coach can demand a lot from his players, but still have their respect. A great coach prepares his team to succeed on the field and his players play hard as much as for themselves as for their coach. When winning a game isn't any fun, something is wrong. Hey coach, it's a game. A game played by kids who are playing because they love the game. And who are hoping to have some fun.

A Blur

These days are a blur. Whether it's because of the explosion of pollen or the fact that we have so much going on -- in addition to all the regular activities, the 4 kids playing soccer and Ethan playing baseball and shuttling Taylor back and forth to work, it's kind of crazy around here -- I can't be sure. Olivia turned 2 on March 30 and she was going around the house in the days leading up to her birthday singing, "Happy day, happy day!" And she kept trying to show how old she was going to be by holding up two fingers but always had her thumb sticking out. The hand coordination thing is a work in progress. It was a grand birthday party and at some point we'll track down some photos of it. You see a couple of photos up there of some folks rather dressed up who appear to be "dancing." Several weeks ago we attended a "Sweet Sixteen" party for two local young ladies who are close friends of the family and someone caught some of us on camera in a "dancing" type of activity. Taylor and Claire were looking sharp, eh?

We went from winter to summer in about a day this year. It was a long, hard winter with record amounts of snowfall around Virginia -- parts of Northern Virginia had more than 5 feet this year -- and then one day it was 75 degrees. Then 85 degrees the next day and 91 the next day. It was crazy. The kids have been running through the sprinkler every day this week, the pollen was so thick I about needed a snow shovel to get it off the cars and the air conditioning units were roaring. Spring? A fleeting thought at this point. But I woke up this morning and it had rained all night and cooled things off. It's supposed to be upper 60s this weekend, which should make perfect soccer weather. Eli has proven to be a goal-scoring machine. He had another 2 goals last Saturday, the second time he's done that. Madeline is a crowd favorite and Gabe has shown amazing improvement on the pitch in just a few weeks. He's been playing a lot of soccer in the back yard and it's paying off. Abram scored a goal this year that was really cool. Usually he plays a lot of defense but when he got his chance he put one in the back of the net. It's great stuff.

Washington D.C.

Last week Aunt Annie took her son, Killian, and 25 percent of my kids (Taylor, Evie & MerriGrace) for a day trip to our nation's capital. That's a benefit to living here -- it's a 2 1/2-hour jaunt up to D.C. The kids and my kid sister had a great time up there. It was a gorgeous spring day in the upper 60s, the cherry blossoms had poked out and they were able to meet a real-live U.S. senator. In this case it was Oregon Republican Greg Walden. Annie has a former volleyball player who is a page for Sen. Walden and Cassidy hooked up my crew, getting them a tour of the Capitol, letting them hang out on the Senate floor to hear some debating and even some personal time with Sen. Walden. My kids sure enjoyed meeting Sen. Walden -- "He's a nice dude," Taylor says. "Real genuine and friendly." -- allowing them to see the words 'politicans' and `snakes' (Or worse!) can be mutually exclusive. I hope Mr. Walden appreciates being known as the "nice senator dude." As you can see, they also toured a bit of D.C., hitting the Vietnam, Korean and World War II war memorials. The ever-present Washington Monument was in the background and they hit the Lincoln Memorial. After Cassidy got off work they treated her to Mexican grub at a restaurant near the Capitol. All in all, good times. Thanks Aunt Annie!

Attack Of The Killer Mantis

I know what you're thinking. You're looking at this photo and saying to yourself, `Dude, how is that rototiller driving itself?' It's pretty amazing, isn't it. Well, the truth is that someone is steering that little two-stroke bad boy, aka a Mantis rototiller. If you look closely, maybe you can see Taylor there manning the Mantis. See? The blond hair ... right there between the big pine tree and fence ... Yeah, you can? Now I know what you're thinking: `Why is Taylor wearing camo jammies?' Well, the truth is that they aren't camo jammies. They're camo, for sure. That's obviously quite obvious. It's a camo getup Taylor wears when he becomes "The Taylorator" during Airsoft battles with his camo upped homeboys out in the Gloucester woods. (For the uninformed, Airsoft is a war-style game using realistic "toy" guns that spit out plastic BB-kind of things. Don the safety glasses, the camo, some tick repellant and you're good to go.) Which has nothing to do with rototilling our little raised bed garden. This photo was taken on Saturday after a long day in the woods battling his buddies in Airsoft. He couldn't wait to get home in the garden. That's my boy.

Signs Of Spring

Timing is everything. Whether you've got a line of kids at the beach all jumping in the air together on the count of 3 (Editor's note: What's the deal with Eli? Author's reply: Obviously he lost count.) or you're swinging for the fences, timing is critical. It's time for spring, we know that. It's been a long, hard winter here in Gloucester and we are more than ready to be outside in shorts, t-shirts and soccer and baseball gear. Well, almost all of us. It's been so cold for soccer practices at the start of the season the kids have been wearing sweatpants. It finally turned warm enough on Thursday that they could wear shorts. Except for Gabe. He came downstairs in sweatpants again right before we had to leave for practice. Someone asked him, "Gabe, where's your shorts?" He grimaced. "They make me look fat," he said. The good news is the diet worked because today he was able to wear his shorts. Just kidding. He did wear shorts today, though. More good news: Gabe and Madeline play on the same team and today their team won on a goal set up by a beautiful assist from Madeline.

Eli and his team played their first game and he scored the winning goal in the final seconds. He's got a big future in soccer. On one play he got an itty bitty shove from one of the players and immediately went to his Jedi warrior playbook because he "fell" with a twisting, flying, hit-the-ground-rolling, the-ref-can't-help-but-blow-the-whistle dive ... it was a very impressive and effective soccer play. Abram's team also won and he scored the first goal of his soccer career. It was pretty exciting stuff. That brings us to Ethan, who wrapped up the Sabo Sporting Day by helping the Gloucester Dukes JV team win 12-3. He had a single and double, scored two runs and stole three bases. All with a black, purple and green left eye. The photo of him up there is when he ripped a double into left center. Let's say his timing was on.

Baseball

It's been a tough pre-season of baseball for Ethan. While lifting weights in his strength and conditioning class a few weeks ago something popped in his elbow and he's been fighting soreness. He says it's finally feeling better. Last week he got the flu the day before a pre-season game and although he made it back to school the next day and onto the field -- despite feeling woozy -- he had to sit out the first three innings of the game due to a rule about missing school. And then yesterday happened. During drills while jogging over to pick up a ball a teammate chucked a ball and smacked Ethan above the left eye. It was an accident, but he suffered a mild concussion, though he never blacked out. He was still fairly out of it when I picked him up from practice yesterday. Last night we had to wake him up every two hours to make sure he was coherent. That was crazy. I was barely coherent and somehow I was supposed to discern if he was coherent? Ethan's first official baseball game of his high school career is supposed to be tomorrow. Maybe he'll play if he can see out of his left eye. In the first practice game he was the starting third baseman and batted leadoff. Today he looks like Rocky. Tomorrow hopefully he'll look like a baseball player.

It's Okay To Say `Thunder'

When we moved back to Gloucester last June and were welcomed home by rounds of thunderstorms, Ezra was a very troubled lad. You could not open the door during a thunderstorm, for fear of letting the thunder in the house. He even forbid me from saying the word, "Thunder." As if not saying it meant it didn't exist. We're happy to report Ezra seems to be on the rebound. Or maybe he's maturing. The other day we had our first official thunderstorm. You could hear the rumblings in the sky very clearly. Several times we paused when we heard a roll of thunder. One time I went over to open the door to make sure I was hearing correctly. Ezra was standing right there. Someone mentioned that we shouldn't open the door or else the thunder would come in. I asked Ezra if it was okay to open the door. He just shrugged, as if to say, "Why you askin' me? Thunder doesn't bother me."

He's at a funny stage. He has no problem taking a bath with his brothers and even Olivia and being buck naked, but ask him to change into his pajamas at night or change his clothes and he demands you leave his bedroom so he can have some privacy. In no way, shape or form is it he down with people seeing him in his underwear. He even gets really upset if his brothers walk in on him. I don't quite know how to explain that. On the other hand, he loves to snuggle with Evie and Claire and the other night I understand he got scared and walked into the girls' room in the middle of the night, sat down on the floor and started whimpering. He ended up in Evie's bed. Kids are funny and say and do the darndest things. This morning Olivia was scooting up the stairs and Madeline walked by and gave her a drive-by peck on the cheek. Olivia didn't care for that. "Madwin," she growled, "you say sowwy to me!" Madeline heard that and couldn't help but laugh. Later in the morning Eli asked someone to make him chocolate milk. "And make it really, really good," he said. As if someone makes him really, really bad chocolate milk. Is there even such a thing as really, really bad chocolate milk?