Pants On The Ground

Olivia has her own interpretation of the song that took America by storm. You know the one, of course. The song about chumps wearing their britches halfway down their rumps -- or (gasp) even lower -- and lookin' like fools that's called "Pants On the Ground." Olivia's pants go on the ground in a form of protest. Let me explain. This morning she had found her baby dollie and wanted to change her diaper. Olivia waves her hand in front of her face and says "Pewie," to let you know that baby dollie has some serious personal hygiene issues. So Olivia fetched a diaper, some wipes and Desitin and basically kind of chucked the baby dollie on the ground (I was folding clothes and looked over at Julie on the couch and winced) and then proceeded to "change baby's diaper." Apparently baby dollie was a little rashy in the tush area and needed an application of Desitin. Except Olivia wasn't content to just pretend to apply a dollop of Desitin to the affected area. She wanted to apply Desitin for reals. "No," Julie said, "we just pretend." Then Julie showed Olivia how to pretend to lube up the baby dollie's rump with Desitin. Olivia kept trying to get Julie to open the tube up so she could really anoint the baby dollie. When that didn't work, Olivia threw a little hissy fit. It was a good one, too. On the ground, rolling around, lots of tears, squawking, some sackcloth and ashes ... you probably know the drill. "Wow," I said. Julie just shook her head. Then Olivia threw the Desitin. Kind of a weak throw if you ask me and I made a mental note to spend some time out on the Wiffle ball field with her this spring. Then Olivia took off her little girlie jeans and threw them on the ground and stared defiantly at us with tear-stained cheeks. She sure showed us!

Eventually things got worked out with Olivia and she seemed to understand that we take the position that letting her handle an open tube of Desitin could be a recipe for disaster. Check that: It would be a recipe for disaster. So in due time Olivia moved on with her life, which gave us all some relief. A little while later I saw her bubbly little self smiling and wearing her swimsuit over her onesie. Kind of an interesting sartorial combination if you ask me, but it was really working for her. Just moments ago she was back in her jeans and shirt but had her pink bubble coat on. I'm telling you, the girl is a quick-change artist. Both emotionally and when it comes to what she's in the mood to wear. Someday I expect the abrupt mood changes will simmer down and the rapid clothes-changing alterations will make way for a one-day/one-outfit routine. Right?