Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A Storm Of Questions

The Eskimo have something like 100 words for snow. No kidding. They have words for drifting snow, still snow, snow marked by dogs or wolves, snow that falls fast, snow that falls slow, snow that falls like snow ... well, maybe not that last one. You get the idea, though. The reason I thought of this is that for the last couple of weeks here at Team Sabo headquarters we've endured flulike symptoms among multiple children that include hurling. Or upchucking. Vomiting. Projectile vomiting. Gurgling hurling. Throwing up. Puking. Are you feeling us on this subject? Know what we're describing here?

Well, God bless Julie. I'm a total weenie when it comes to hurl, vomit, upchuck, or whatever you want to call it. The unbearable odor, the sight of it (Ew. That's right. We had hamburger for dinner.) the texture, the mess ... I'm getting queasy just typing about it. Julie, however, is just tough when it comes to that stuff. She can step right in and clean up whatever ended up on the carpet, in the vicinity of the bathroom, on the pillow, pajamas, or wherever the last meal in the gut ended up. So here's the big question. Is this a maternal instinct thing? Am I, as a member of the male species, genetically unpredisposed (Editor's note: Unpredisposed? Let's see that get past the spellchecker. Author's rebuttal: Ahem. I call it "literary license." Aren't you used to it by now? Don't you know I just make words up?) to clean up the dinner leftovers that didn't quite make it all the way through the gut system? Or am I just a bad husband?

These are big questions. I'm looking for answers. Thank you. Driven snow, granular snow, snow squall, snow slush, powder, yellow snow ...

7 comments:

  1. Warren was much better at the clean up act than I was. Don't get me wrong - I did my share of cleaning up but I had to talk myself through it. Still hate to even think of the possibility...

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  2. Well Matt, it cannot be maternal instinct. Graciously, Daniel cleans it up alot because of being pregnant alot. I just get sick too easy, even the sound....

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  3. You're not a bad husband, just a weenie when it comes to hurl.

    But I hear you make a mean pancake breakfast.

    Don't forget mom's 70th on Sunday. She wants it to just 'go by quietly' but I'm thinking you have a choir that could belt out a lovely rendition of 'Happy Birthday Grandma'. Or something like that.

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  4. Well, my wonderful husband and I usually tag team it. One of us is cleaning up the kid and other the mess. Although I must say Sean was pretty repulsed when the chunks were embedded in the carpet at our apartment. The smell would just not go away. Rest assued Matt you are normal! You have an amazing wife that I'll be praying for:)

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  5. Throw up has to be one of the grossest things. Just the smell is enough. A few months ago all of our kids were sick at the same time. I think there is a real aspect of training up a child in the way of using a bowl or the toilet. This can make a huge difference. I did fine rubbing backs and offering soothing words until Elijah got sick. He has a hard time making decisions under pressure. First he threw up on the couch/ floor while trying to hit the bowl; and then threw up in the hallway/ bathroom door/ bathroom floor on his way to the toilet in the middle of the night so I threw some couch cushions on the bathroom floor so I could continue sleeping with a little peace of mind. Vomit must be a post fall of Adam thing, like houseflies. While I understand your dillema, you must man up and assume your responsibilities, or at least train them on the bowl/ toilet skills.

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  6. Maybe if the kids learn to chew better the puke, hurl, vomit..... you get the point, wouldnt be so hard to clean up?

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  7. ...big flake snow, little flake snow, wet snow, sticky snow, sleety snow that almost sticks, crispy snow, crunchy snow (hmmm, now I'm getting hungry...), soft snow, hard snow...

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